Permission to Not Be Fine

The women in my family lived to fifty-nine, on average. I intend to blow past that, and the data says I actually can.

If you recognized yourself anywhere in this series, here’s what I want you to know: managing your symptoms is not the same as resolving what’s underneath them, and you don’t have to wait until you fall apart to do something about it.

If you’re someone who’s already invested in your health, your faith, and the people around you at a high level, consider investing at that same level in the thing underneath all of it. Brainspotting and IFS-informed therapy are one place to start.

And if you’re a practitioner reading this: you already know the client I’m talking about. The one who’s doing everything right, following every protocol, and still isn’t getting better, because her labs can’t see what her nervous system is holding. That’s not a referral failure on your part. That’s a gap in the model. Referrals can go to Attune Center for Healing at (530) 768-7397; ask for Yvette Brown, Marriage and Family Therapist Trainee.

A permission slip

Let’s practice something most of us never learned: taking care of ourselves without earning it first.

Take a minute, right now, and finish this sentence out loud or on paper: “I give myself permission to ___.” Stop something. Start something. Say no to something. Pick one.

Fair warning: even sixty seconds of unstructured silence can feel strange if you’re used to performing fine. Stay with it anyway.

A sixty-second practice for your body

Before you go back to the rest of your day, give your body sixty seconds. I promise this isn’t a cult. Just breathing. Though if you want to hum afterward, I won’t stop you.

• If it feels okay, close your eyes or soften your gaze. Feet on the floor.
• Take a quick scan through your body: shoulders, jaw, stomach. Just notice.
• Breathe in through your nose for a count of two, and out slowly for a count of six. Repeat three or four rounds, slowly.
• Scan your body again. Notice what shifted, even if it’s small.

That long exhale just told your nervous system it’s safe to stand down. You can do this in a parking lot, in a waiting room, or in the middle of a hard conversation.

Want to know why your nervous system gets stuck on alert in the first place? Read how trauma affects the body.

You were never meant to carry this alone

This is what I do every day at Attune Center for Healing. If anything in this series sounded like your own story, I’d love to help you take the next step toward what’s underneath instead of just managing it. Book a free 15-minute consult to talk about what this work could look like for you.

Please don’t be fine. Be honest. Be supported. Take care of yourself.

This is my personal story, not a typical result or a promise. Everyone’s healing is different.

Yvette Brown, Marriage and Family Therapist Trainee at Attune Center for Healing. Supervised by Christina Whitney, LMFT #111050.