When Midlife Meets the Old Memory

Is this guide for you?

You may have spent years being the capable one. Now something in you is tired of holding the whole story alone.

This guide may help if you are carrying:

• Unprocessed trauma or C-PTSD
• Grief that never got room
• The aftereffects of a controlling or narcissistic relationship
• Chronic illness or years of caregiving
• Family patterns that made you grow up too soon

This guide is education only. It is not therapy, an assessment, or crisis care.

Internal Family Systems (IFS)

IFS was developed by Richard Schwartz. It starts with a simple idea: your mind is not one single voice.

You probably already know some of your inner voices. There may be an inner critic, a part that shuts down, a part that keeps everyone comfortable, or a younger place that still holds old pain.

IFS calls these parts. Parts are not a diagnosis, and they are not “multiple personalities.” Think of them as a map of the ways you learned to survive.

Three things you may recognize

Protectors

Try to keep pain from flooding you. Examples: overworking, people-pleasing, numbness, control, a harsh inner critic.

Exiles

Hold the hurt, shame, fear, or grief that protectors have been managing.

Self

The steadier center in you that can get curious instead of fighting yourself. It is not a personality makeover. It is the ability to meet your inner life with more calm and compassion.

Brainspotting

Brainspotting was developed by David Grand. It is a focused, body-based way to work with experiences that talking alone often can’t reach.

The working idea is that where you look can connect to how your nervous system is holding an experience.

How it works

We find a visual point, called a “brainspot,” that links to a sensation in your body. That might be tightness, heat, a lump in the throat, or a sudden quiet. You stay with that point while I help you notice what comes up. Nothing is forced, and you do not have to tell a story or have a big emotional release.

People often use it for

• Medical trauma
• Accidents
• Relational shock
• Grief
• Years of bracing that never had words

What a session can look like

IFS gives you language and relationship with your inner parts. Brainspotting gives your body a focused way to release what those parts have been holding. Here is how they can fit together:

1. We talk first. We start with conversation and consent. You set the pace.
2. We listen to protectors. If a protective part is loud, we hear it first. We don’t barge past it.
3. We add the body when it’s safe. Once there is enough safety, we may use a brainspot to help your body complete something talking has only circled.
4. We come back to the room. We close by orienting to where you are, so you leave more settled than flooded.

Not every session uses both. Some hours are all conversation. Some are quieter and more body-focused. The method serves you, not the other way around.

Faith, if you want it

Faith in Christ is welcome in the room. It is never an entrance requirement, and the work does not depend on sharing my beliefs. If faith isn’t part of your life, we won’t bring it in. The respect runs both ways.

Working with me

I work with adults carrying trauma, C-PTSD, grief, and the aftereffects of narcissistic or controlling relationships. Chronic illness, caregiving, and complex family systems are often part of the picture. You do not need to arrive with a polished story.

Who I am

Marriage and Family Therapy Trainee at Attune Center for Healing in Redding, California. Supervised by Christina Whitney, LMFT # 111050.

Where

Telehealth for residents of California.

Insurance

Partnership, Aetna, and United Healthcare.

Cash pay

Accepted. Superbills are available on request.

First step

A free 15-minute consult.

Book a free 15-minute consult

Hear how I work and decide if the fit feels right. There is no pressure to begin therapy afterward.

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